What To Do With These Big Emotions

 

What to Do With These Big Emotions

Available on Amazon! 

There are moments when something you’ve been carrying quietly finally becomes real.

Holding this book in my hands for the first time was one of those moments.

What to Do With These Big Emotions began as a simple thought:
What if children had the language to understand what they feel—early?
Not to fix it.
Not to rush through it.
Just to understand it.

So many of us learned how to manage emotions long after we needed to. Some of us are still learning. I wanted to create something gentle, affirming, and accessible for children who experience big feelings—and for the adults guiding them.

This book invites children to notice their emotions, name them, and see them as information rather than something to fear or suppress. Joy, sadness, frustration, calm—each emotion has a place. Each one is valid. Each one has something to teach.

Watching this book move from an idea, to words, to pages, and now into the world has been both grounding and surreal. It feels aligned with the work I’m doing in my own life—paying attention, slowing down, and creating space for what’s real.

If you’re raising a child who feels deeply, or if you’re reconnecting with that part of yourself, I hope this book meets you gently.

It’s now available, and I’m grateful for everyone who has supported this journey—quietly or loudly, recently or from the very beginning.

Where to Find the Book

You can find What to Do With These Big Emotions on Amazon here:
https://a.co/d/9COvO2Y

Thank you for being here, for witnessing this moment, and for valuing emotional understanding as part of a full life.

— Stephanie

A Mother's Mission Statement

 

My therapist gave me the assignment to write a Mission Statement for myself when it comes to being a mother. After a couple of sessions of stating, " I just don't want to mess up my kids", she guided me to think about what is it that makes a good mother. What do I posses that makes me a good mom. Whoa. never really had to answer that question, LOL, what makes me a good mom? I didn't jump into the thought process and allowed it to unfold for me. And allowed it to come to me of what best represents me as a mom. 

I'm a wife, mother, daughter, sister, niece, cousin & friend. I often question if I am doing a good job at these roles as they are some of the most important relationships in my life. The role of a mother is one of the most admirable role one can be given. I just want to be good at it. One of the best questions I've asked myself was, What is my vision?

The moment the thought of you is Realized, I am no longer alone. I am nurturing the very existence of a whole life that is soon to become. 

I will be responsible - have the ability to respond to situations with the most optimal path. Responding to my children, not to save them, but to guide them in the best direction for their understanding. To be accountable for my actions and my responses to them. Through clear direction and example, provide to them the a visual of how one should respond to situations when they have have a sense of their own awareness. 

You will question if you are doing great, and you must insist you trust. To listen to the intuition inside of you that guides you to where you want to be, the unfolding of your life. Being aware of the creativity within you that allows you to go with the flow. I will foster innovation in my children, that when they see contrast, a light bulb goes off that leads them to innovate through self-expression and problem-solving. I will encourage them to pursue the purpose that guides them, I will encourage them to speak and let it be known what is it they are wanting. I will encourage them to be aware of the creativity they are participating in, so they will always be aware of where it is coming from. 

 I will guide my children to practice awareness, self-reflection and mindfulness. To be aware of their thoughts and where they are coming from. To know that when you are intentional with your words, actions and emotions, you are able to fulfill spaces that no other will ever be able to fill. That their goals and aspirations in life are their own and, they have the power to will the strive to the greatest lengths of  their intentions. I want to empower them to know that the how is never their responsibility, and through deep understanding of themselves, they will truly understand the power of intention. 

I will promote to my children the value in the care consciousness of self. That they are to respond to the need of their emotional, physical, mental, spiritual and creative well-being. That this involves knowing when to take moments of quieting their mind through meditation, and self-preservation. To teach them that I am no exception when it comes to their responsibility for their self-care. I will teach my children to be kind to and respect themselves. And be mindful of what they consume so that they can always have the freedom of their own thinking. 

I am anxious.

But I am more hopeful than fearful because it feels better. Be optimistic I tell myself. But I am. Very. But what quiets my optimism. REALITY! The nuances of there is no way that can happen, " Says Society".  It Always will do this ----->  The chips look like this. Not let them fall where they may, but let them fall. 

I will guide my children to fall in love with making goals. To revere in the feeling they get when they set a goal. I will empower them to be optimistic. To expect it to always be the way they want. That it's attraction. To fall in love with the journey. The best feeling is when you get the idea of your goal, not the destination of it. My children will come to know what it means to journey in their lives and will look back and never regret a thing. I will guide them to be happy in that very journey every step and setback that really is apart of the journey because it always has to be. I will show them how to always give themselves grace, by modeling optimism, and by not only embracing a growth mindset, but continuing to grow. 

My mission is to raise self-aware and connected children who are responsible, creative, intentional, care conscious and optimistic. I will give support and love to them guiding them to personally grow and make mindful connections. I am to encourage them to be compassionate to themselves in that they cannot give without ensuring their own wellbeing and when they are are mindful of this, they will have the power to make their impact on their communities and their world. 

Be Great,
   Stephanie

Family Trip to Pigeon Forge, TN

A couple of years ago, we took a family trip into the beautiful Smokies! Pigeon Forge, TN is mountain town and vacation spot known for Dollywood, vast selection of dinner theaters and many more unique attractions. 

How to get there

Pigeon Forge doesn't have there own commercial airport and the nearest airport is Knoxville, TN which is only about a 45 minute drive away. However for a family of 5 to travel mid March where Spring Break pricing is on high would cost upwards of 2,500 for tickets alone! For a financial compromise, the option to fly into Nashville, TN could save a couple of hundred and swap for a 3 hour road trip or better yet, fly into Atlanta to save a few hundred of dollars and swap for a 4 hour road trip. Either way you will have to rent a car that will usually have unlimited miles, so it's whatever your preference in the time spent in the car. We opted to fly into Atlanta that saved us a pretty penny on flights and took the scenic route through the Smokies into Pigeon Forge, TN. 

Where to Stay 

There are a number of options for lodging in Pigeon Forge, from cabins, resorts and hotels. We chose to stay at Black Fox Lodge part because we had Hilton Points and are Diamond members which helps save a couple of dollars. The hotel has great reviews and offered a pleasant stay. With the five of us, we shared a suite with two areas one that with two queen beds and a tv and the other with a pull out couch and tv.    

Where to Visit 

Pigeon Forge is a tourist town and therefore there are a ton of attractions to visit! From Dinner Theaters to Go-Carts, there a number of places to visit. In our weekend trip we ventured out to Gatlinburg which is only about a 15 minute ride from Pigeon Forge. We visited the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum that was full of quirky facts and the Ripley's Believe It or Not Aquarium that left us in aww with the exotic sea animals. Back in Pigeon Forge, we enjoyed  Go-Cart and Game Rooms. The game cards are pretty good value in that for 3 kids each were able to enjoy a ride of choice. Be sure to stop by the Apple Barn that is known for their apple pie and OH GEE the apple butter is amazing! You can actually purchase it from their website. There are a number of restaurants and local diners to visit that greets you with the southern hospitality you would expect from a town like this. 

Pigeon Forge, TN is a nice Family vacation spot that feels like a carnival dream. It is full of fun and attractions that are fun for everyone. 

Enjoy some pictures from our trip! 

*This trip was taken place at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020

Parenting without Fear

 

With all the things parents can worry about in the world, we choose to worry about how the world will view our kids. How can we encourage our children to be their authentic selves when we worry more about how well they will do in the world? How do we parent our kids without imposing our beliefs of fears on them based on our past experiences? 

The fear of our children not being accepted by society sometimes will lead us to go to extremes to protect them from themselves. But who are we to block the experiences our kids are to experience. I came to understand that my kids are an extension of me but they are here for their own reason, purpose. Don't get me wrong, we are to steer them in the best way to help them achieve this through love and understanding. I am not saying let them be free without guidance, but we need to provide guidance with love over fear. Remember what is was you needed to hear at 5, 10, 16 😉.  

Over the past couple of  years, I embarked on a journey of updating my parenting skills and really started  to rethink my approach to raising my children.  I’ve come to discover a few skills that have helped me practice parenting without fear.

Mindful of my words  - think before you speak - was a virtue I was taught, but never understood how  to practice it. To truly think before you allow the thought that you are thinking transform into words and leave your lips. I had to start taking factors into play when interacting with my kids. One, am I tired, hungry, frustrated. But in regards to fear, I had to take a moment to understand am I responding in fear of what my kids are saying to me or am I even listening to what they said. Am I judging them on what society says kids who do this will be  and that they will be frowned upon, or looked at differently. Speak love into your children no matter who they are, do your best to understand their perception and what the facts are in what they are saying, and guide them to the better feeling.   

Check my intentions - when responding to an action and words from your kids, what are your intensions? I chose to feel the feeling and allow myself to speak life into them rather than use my words to provoke fear in them to then force an outcome that I am comfortable with. I began pouring into them the words they needed to hear to be their best self, no matter what that may be. 

Understand that your children are not "yours" - I had to come to understand that our children are here for a reason. My oldest had a love for animals that is beyond my limit of having a dog, and wants to be a veterinarian, there were times were I thought I should try to influence her to change her future career, in fear that she wouldn't be successful, I had to change my perception to encourage her to go for her dreams. I came to understand that my kids have their own purpose that is separate from my own. Sometimes we want to impose on them what we believe is to be best, but we have to understand they have their own personality and likes of their unique to their purpose.

As a mom, I want what everyone parent wants which is the best for my kids, and have come to the understanding that imposing my fear on them does nothing to help them and implementing these practices in to my parenting has given me results in having my kids be more open with me and really come to being their true unique selves in a space with love and no judgement, love over fear. 

Be Great,
   Stephanie

Raising Kids with Large Age Gaps

'Oh, wow, that's a large age gap!" is the common response I would get when I revealed the ages of my kids.  I never thought that the age gaps between my kids mattered, until I got this response multiple times.  I became a little anxious and strained about what was to come with the perceived vast age gap between my kids, however in all things, you expect the best for you and your family and in this journey, I have found three of the most important aspects to making this work and wanted to share.

Time alone with each child - My kids are 15, 9, and 5, and are psychologically at different levels and understandings and sometimes I cannot always generalize conversations with all three. So, I have found it important to have time alone with each child. Even if they were closer in age, I would have alone time, but I feel it is most important because of their differences in development stages to be even more keen and sensitive.  These sessions are either scheduled or impromptu. But because the way my life is set up, they are mostly impromptu. Whether it be driving my youngest daughter to her dance practice and striking up a conversation with her, playing a car game with my son or cooking Pho with my oldest, I realized that these little 30 minute moments do make a difference in getting to know each child individually which in turn... helps to understand their thinking and where they are mentally...I  believe that these little moments make a big difference to each of them and allow them to have their own time with me.

Being aware of their different development stages - When your kids are an average 3.9 years apart, you have to be creative in how you communicate with them.  I research ever so often my kids individual development stages to get a better sense of where they are developmentally. I have found this helps ease my frustrations in understanding how to communicate with them each at their own levels. Hence a five year old vs fifteen year old with responsibilities and hygiene. It helps make sense of my life a lot! I also have found it easier in explaining to each of them where their siblings are mentally. My 9 year old would sometimes tell her younger brother jokes and think it to be funny when he would repeat these jokes that were unconventional in nature in which she would be aware of and of course he didn't, having to explain to her that she shouldn't use he brother's ignorance as entertainment, but use it as a moment to teach him understanding that the is younger and at a different level then she, it in turn helps me to teach them to be leaders and for their younger sibling(s) to learn from their leading to in turn be a good leader.



Embracing the good with the challenges - At times it is challenging with my the age gaps, for example when my 9 year old tries to negotiate by saying her older sister gets to do it and I have to take a deep breath, explain to her that she is younger, etc., etc. but I have found the age gap between my kids to be beneficial in that they are able to look after each other. Our oldest babysits for us on date night and we don't have the worry of getting them packed up and dropped off like we did before. They actually still do play with each other and they bond is impeccable.  They are able to help their younger siblings with homework, so that is a big up for me! My oldest loves to give advice to her younger sister about high school, friends, etc. which is the sweetest conversations to listen in on. Perspective is all in how you look at it, find the good in the challenges and hold on tight!

As with kids that are 2-3 years apart or 10 years, having children period is a challenge, but I am very blessed to have found the balance with having a little time in between my kids ages. Despite their age gaps, they each have a beautiful relationship with each other, so don't worry if you happen to be in the same boat I was in with a 10 year old and newborn, it will all work out fine!

Be Great,
    Stephanie

Promoting Self-Esteem

Growing up in a world where the delight of your appearance outweighed the intentions of your heart was how I used to view the world. I thought the harder I scrubbed my skin, I would magically become a shade lighter in which I believed I would be liked more. Now bringing two girls into the world, I am tasked with the most important job of all, although at times I believe I should have been fired years ago, I strive to remember what I needed at their ages and provide the best guidance I can. Self-Esteem has always been an issue for me. Finding myself has taken time, however I am grateful for the experiences as I continue to embark on this transformation and becoming a better wife, mom, friend, etc.

Self Esteem - is the confidence in one's own worth and abilities. I charge my girls daily with, "you have to have high self-esteem I say, you have to carry yourself with self-respect, you...wait... do they even know what it means to have "high" self-esteem? I thought back to what I needed at their age, what needed to be said, taught, understood of me. To help them not require validation from others, but to understand the importance of strength and confidence in who they are. As I explored the how, I realized that it wasn't my six word sentence that would prepare my children for the world, but how I interacted with them and respected how they felt. All in all, how to be responsive to their needs. I started using the below points to help me help them.